Judging By A First Impression Is Never A Good Idea

I recently had an experience where I judged someone based upon a first impression. I don’t know this person and after only being around her for 2 minutes I had already defined what kind of a person she is.

It was my first day at a new gym and I walked into the door to be greeted by a friendly guy while this other trainer sat there seemingly glaring at me.

I made eye contact with both of them, smiled, and said “hi.” The guy smiled back replying “hi” while the girl sat there not acknowledging me. I thought “I don’t understand why she is ignoring me.” Then I thought maybe she is shy or possibly she didn’t hear me?  I gave her the benefit of the doubt on this first interaction. I realize that not everyone is outgoing.

It happened again the second time I arrived for class. The exact same thing happened. Initially, I thought “I am not going to do any of her classes, she seems mean.” I judged her based on that second interaction.

Then I remembered all the times I had judged someone by a first impression and I was wrong. I didn’t like one of my friends when I first met her and she didn’t like me. Now we are best friends!

I have also had people judge me prematurely saying that I am nicer than they thought I was when they first met me. So, everyone is judging everyone based upon these first impressions.

After remembering all of this I decided I wasn’t going to avoid her. Maybe she is just shy. Or maybe she was having a bad couple of days. There could be a million reasons as to why she wasn’t giving off a good first impression.

I decided I would take one of her classes. After all, avoidance helps no one. She was one of the nicest instructors I have ever had! She wasn’t mean or snobby or any of the things I thought she was. My first impression was wrong.

I had judged her after being in her presence for only 2 minutes. That is not enough time to get to know someone.

What is a First Impression?

A first impression is about how someone makes you feel upon first meeting them. It is what you decide someone is like after meeting them for the first time.

A first impression says more about you than it does about the other person. By Law of Attraction, you get what you expect and you get whatever your vibration is attracting at that moment.

We Have Pre-Conceived Ideas About Others Before Even Meeting Them

Maybe you know about a person and have a pre-conceived idea of what they are like. You may have thoughts about how this person is based upon what others have to say about them.

I have been on a few dating websites where I have talked back and forth with guys. Let me tell you that when I meet them, they are nothing like the picture I have in my head! Their personalities, mannerisms, voice, and whole aura is different. Not in a bad way, but in a different way.

I was using my preconceived knowledge of what information I had of them to form a completely inaccurate picture of who they are.

I believe everyone’s mind works the same in this way. We form pictures in our minds of what someone is like in order to help us fill in the blanks before we really get to know them.

Once we get to know them, these pictures of what we thought they are like are replaced by what they are REALLY like. We develop an accurate picture of someone over time as the pieces fill in.

When Meeting Someone New You Only Have a few Seconds to Form an Opinion of Them

Maybe you are unexpectedly meeting someone for the first time and only have a few seconds to decide what you think about them. Our brains form a picture in our minds after meeting someone new as to what type of person they are. However, it isn’t always accurate.

I know I have judged someone based upon how they made me feel when I met them only to realize later that I was wrong. A first impression in a way is a judgment about someone before getting to know them. It is a superficial judgment.

It’s ok, it is what everyone does. We are human and that is how our minds work. We only have a couple of things to go off of when we first meet someone, so we create this idea in our heads about what they are like without really knowing them.

It is pretty hard to get to know someone within minutes of meeting them so all we have to go off of is the first impression. The important thing to know is that it is only a first impression.

It’s ok to get a negative first impression of someone. Maybe they are having a rough day and not their usual happy self. But all you can see is that they are miserable or angry or not very nice. Maybe they just lost someone close to them, you don’t know the whole story. It is ok to be cautious.

Just know that it is the first impression and there is a lot more to someone than that. Take some time to get to know them and once you get to know them you can then decide if you want them to be a part of your life.

We Can Be Forced to Work with Someone We Don’t Like Only to Find Out We Are Wrong About Them

Have you ever been forced to work with someone who you didn’t particularly want to spend time with, only to realize that the more time you spent with them the more you started to enjoy their company? It happens more than people realize.

Or has someone you know created a stranger into someone that you didn’t particularly want to meet only to find out that they are an amazing person once you get to know them?

Co-Workers Can Give Off a Bad First Impression but It Isn’t Always Accurate

A new guy had just started working at this place I worked at. On his first day, he was yelling on the phone to someone. I had a horrible first impression of him. I told my other co-worker that I just didn’t trust him.

I ended up working with this guy for 2 more years and I had never seen him get upset like that again. In fact, he told us he never gets upset or yells at people, but this person just wasn’t cooperating, so he did lose his cool.

He was one of the nicest guys I have ever worked with. He was always helpful and friendly. But if I hadn’t had the chance to work with him, I would have never known that. I would only think of him as someone who I can’t trust and who gets angry easily.

We Like People Who Like Us in a First Impression

We are going to respond more positively to someone who seems to like us. So, if based on a first impression someone doesn’t seem too interested in us, then we may not get as good of a first impression about them.

I know I am guilty of this. I respond differently to people who are interested in me than I do to people who seem to care less about me. I have noticed this with other people too.

Try it out for yourself. When you meet someone, give them a compliment and watch how their whole aura changes. They immediately start to let their guard down and feel more comfortable around you. They feel like they can trust you more. I have done this many times and I ALWAYS get a positive response after giving a compliment.

Final Thoughts: Judging By a First Impression is Never a Good Idea

We have all lost our cool or not acted our best at one time or another. Sometimes that happens to be when a new person is around. You know that you aren’t always like that, but the other person doesn’t.

That is why it is important to not judge someone based upon a first impression. They might be nothing like you imagine them to be upon first meeting them.

First impressions are tricky because we so quickly decide if we like a person upon just meeting them or if we’d rather not have anything to do with them.

Keep in mind that there is a lot more to someone than this one first impression. You might end up making a great friend that you’d never have if you hadn’t given them a chance!

~Meghan