eye contact

I am fascinated with human behavior and I observe how people act around me. Lately I’ve noticed that some people can’t look me in the eye when talking to me. This behaviour intrigues me and I am curious if it is because they aren’t interested in speaking to me? So, I’ve researched and also came up with the reasons as to why I don’t look some people in the eyes to understand why they can’t look me in the eyes. There are a few reasons as to why someone might not be making eye contact when talking to you.

Why Don’t People Make Eye Contact When Talking to You?

 

#1 Reason for No Eye Contact – Social Anxiety

I can speak from personal experience on this one. When I had social anxiety, it was very difficult for me to look some people in the eyes. It made me panic and my blood pressure rise. It had nothing to do with the person but with the social anxiety. During this time, even if I was talking to a close friend and I looked them in the eyes I could feel my blood pressure rise and I’d start to panic. This normally doesn’t happen to me especially with friends so I knew it was the social anxiety.

 

Many people have a difficult time looking others in the eyes when they have social anxiety. They are already feeling vulnerable and then on top of that to look someone in the eyes is like the ultimate vulnerability. Eyes are the window to the soul. So, people with social anxiety will have a difficult time maintaining eye contact.

 

#2 Reason for No Eye Contact – They Like You

I have also been in this situation before too! When I really like a guy I find it difficult to look him in the eyes. The reason for this is because I am afraid I will say something stupid or that I will regret. I feel like he has a pull over me and I can’t control what comes out of my mouth. So, I avoid eye contact.

 

Sometimes you may think someone doesn’t like you when they don’t look you in the eyes but it can be because they REALLY like you. They might get nervous around you and not want you to see their eyes because it may show their true feelings. Eyes can show us what people think of us without even realizing it. Our pupils get bigger around someone we like and it low light. Bigger pupils are sexier and they can draw someone to you. This happens on a subconscious level. It is a way of showing someone you like them without actually saying it. It is like a subtle hint that your body is portraying without even realizing it.

 

#3 Reasons for No Eye Contact – They Aren’t Interested in What You are Saying

If someone isn’t interested in you or what you are saying their eyes might scan the room to look for something more interesting to engage in. If someone seems distracted (but not nervous) then they might just not be interested in speaking with you or what you are saying.

 

#4 Reason for No Eye Contact – You Aren’t Visually Appealing

We have a harder time maintaining eye contact with people who we don’t find visually appealing. I don’t mean that you have to think someone is hot to look at them. But if they have a feature you really don’t like or you just don’t find them very appealing it will be more difficult to maintain eye contact with them. People like looking at pretty things.

 

#5 Reason for No Eye Contact – Low Self Esteem

This one kind of goes with social anxiety but if someone has low self-esteem they will have a more difficult time maintaining eye contact. Someone with low self-esteem isn’t confident enough and might think that you don’t care what they are saying so they will avoid eye contact because they don’t feel important enough.

 

#6 Reason for No Eye Contact – They Are Hiding Something

If someone is hiding something or lying about something they will have a difficult time looking you in the eyes. This is because they will be worried you will see right through them and know what they are saying isn’t the truth.

 

#7 Reason for No Eye Contact – They Are Having a Bad Day

Sometimes people can be going through something or just be having a bad day so they avoid eye contact. Maybe they don’t want to look someone in the eyes because they know they will start crying. I’ve been in the position of avoiding eye contact with a friend when I was having an emotional day. I didn’t want to burst into tears. It was easier to not look at them and maintain control over my emotions than having them see I was upset or to ask me what was wrong and have me burst into tears.

 

Also, people just don’t have any interest in speaking with someone sometimes if they are having a bad day. They are dealing with their own problems so avoid eye contact so they don’t have to talk to someone if they really aren’t into it that day.

 

#8 Reason for No Eye Contact – They Don’t Want You to Think They Like You or Come Across as Flirty

People of the opposite sex sometimes won’t maintain eye contact because they are worried that you will think they are flirting. They don’t want you to get the wrong idea or think that they are flirting in any way. So, they will avoid eye contact with you.

 

Conclusion

There can be many reasons as to why someone won’t make eye contact when having a conversation with you. It definitely doesn’t mean they don’t like you, it can be a variety of reasons. You have to take into account the circumstances and your relationship to that person. They may just have a crush on you and you have no idea!

~Meghan

Interested in learning more about body language? Check out the book ‘Body Language – Quick & Easy‘ by Richard Webster.

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